So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize