Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
