I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
