I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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