mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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