i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My bed smells like the plague
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
