I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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