she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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