dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
