y did u give ur computer a hand job?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
