Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
