East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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