those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
