paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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