I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
