I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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