i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
