do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize