did you get engaged???
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she looked like the before picture.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?