i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
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Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
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Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.