She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
tell me about the fingering
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
