I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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