Where is the hickey?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
