The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i've created a new STD.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
