hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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