If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
