can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
