My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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