Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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