I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
