Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
