i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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