i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
