U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
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i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.