I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
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The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
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i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.