If i come over, it means nothing
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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