Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
pray to the hookup gods
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
