Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
