no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
