We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
