wat bout pragnant strippers??
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
