I think this baby is eyeing my beer
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
