dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
