this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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