I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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