i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
