we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize