bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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