YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
