i think i have herpe
just one?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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