so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
