wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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