Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
