11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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