Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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