If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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