it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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