No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
