I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
