my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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